Fear and Loathing on Alternia

At least they know it's annoying.

Sun, 21 Oct 2012 17:02:00 -0400

Anonymous asked:

Hey! Annoying anon here! I know so many people have already asked you about Troll Romcom, but you never seem to say when you think the next update will be. I’m just asking for a rough estimate, if you can give one. A week? A month? Three months? Never again? You’ve left a cliffhanger for me because I noticed the title has “a humorous decapitation” in it. If the Dave’s currently swinging sword has anything to do with that, let me tell you: NOT HUMOROUS! I love Karkat. And Dave not killing Karkat

JM: Hey babe, come look at this! Someone thinks Daviad might actually decapitate Karkat.

SK: you should totally have that happen.

JM: But… that would be… stupid?

SK: and then zahhak could build him a robot head.

JM: I’m pretty sure he’d still be dead.

SK: what if zahhak built him a whole robot body?

JM: Yeah, but he’d still be dead. Which would ruin my story.

SK: no, see, the robot would be for his ghost!

JM: Robotics doesn’t work like that.

SK: who’s the mad scientist here, me or you?

JM: AAAAANYWAY, Annoying Anon, I’m curious to know whether you work in a creative field, how you schedule your time, and whether you actually read my previous reply, in which I indicated that my cinematographer’s hand is fucked up and needs time to heal.

JM: Tempting as it is to tell you we’ll next update next Thursday at 10pm Alternian Central Time, then watch you cry like a wiggler when it doesn’t happen, that wouldn’t be fair to our readers who know how this shit works.

SK: if they really are blackflirting with you, i think it’s working…

JM: What?

JM: Oh.

JM: Oh, shit.

JM: No, man, shut up, I’m cool. I’m just gonna. Work on the outline for that historical epic dealie some more. In a super calm way.

SK: when you break your typewriter, there’s a spare in the cabinet next to the thermal hull. <3

JM: It’s so nice to be understood. <3

Anonymous asked: I swear, if you leave us on this scene for as long as we waited with Jonnas...

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 18:29:07 -0400

Anonymous asked:

I swear, if you leave us on this scene for as long as we waited with Jonnas before I’ll, I’ll - Well, I’ll think of something, and you won’t like it.

JM: You realize, by blackflirting anonymously, you leave me with no options for flirting back except by delaying updates…

SK: i thought updates were delayed anyway because vd’s hand is fucked up.

JM: Now, see, you ruined it. I sounded all suave there and you ruined it.

SK: i also thought you and vd had a black thing going on.

JM: Not in front of the anon, honey.

SK: so are you being uncaliginously nice to your kismesis by delaying updates to let his hand heal, or are you tweaking him by flirting with anons? i’m not really clear on what your strategy is here.

JM: I’m not a player, I just crush a lot.

ge-21 asked: What is the update schedule for your wonderful romcom? JM: The update process is as...

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 02:48:00 -0400

ge-21 asked:

What is the update schedule for your wonderful romcom?

JM: The update process is as follows:

Pack the queue until it cries.
Pester my amazing cinematographer for more pretty pictures.
Edit the pretty pictures into filmic perfection.
Repeat from step 1.

JM: Whether the cycle completes before the queue runs out is not up to me. It is entirely controlled by the Movie Gods.

JM: Do not piss off the Movie Gods, noble stranger. They are fickle masters. They throw grubcorn when they’re happy. When they’re unhappy, they will bite your fucking globes right off.

SK: what’s that stand for?

JM: Which?

SK: the globe biting. is that a total failure of inspiration or…?

JM: It’s a metaphor for when the studio turns your bittersweet slice-of-life absurdist dramedy into a straight-to-video slapstick nightmare about a smug wiggler with a talking barkbeast.

SK: i am PRETTY sure that never happened to you.

JM: Damn straight. I know how to placate those touchy motherfuckers. I’d just hate to see it happen to poor ge-21 here.

SK: you’re a true philanthropist.

will you be updating your fantastic romcom anytime soon mr. makwaa? rawrmynameisval JM: Nope. I...

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 17:49:00 -0400

will you be updating your fantastic romcom anytime soon mr. makwaa?

rawrmynameisval

JM: Nope. I definitely didn’t just queue up a bunch of posts. In fact, the dang thing is abandoned and doomed to gather dust for eternity. So don’t expect an update in an hour or two.

JM: If you think you see one, you’re hallucinating and should alert your mediviscerator immediately.

JM: Babe, what’s the accepted treatment for delusions of update?

SK: that’s no longer a recognized category; rather, it’s now regarded as delusions of enjoyment with complications of experiential novelty.

JM: And the treatment for that is…?

SK: oral sex. this eliminates the delusional aspect of the enjoyment.

JM: What’s this I see before me? Is it Trollock Series 3? Already? I thought it wouldn’t be out for perigees yet but here it is in my sweaty little hands!

SK: oh, your poor diseased brain. go take a shower.

JM: I love it when you speak highblood.

I am not... going to break... this... typewriter.

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:36:00 -0500

Anonymous asked you:

I’m sorry, I may be hassling you unnecessarily, but what sort of plasma thing? (From romcom.) Would it have safety measures at all? My experiences with a plasma cutter was it required a clamp on something metal to make an arc, pulling up on a little lever and hitting the trigger. Maybe a plasma torch is different? (If it can, in fact, be turned on by pants, I will probably huff and stomp about. Because dangerous device! Pants! He should know better than to keep it on while sex!) Sorry to bother.

JM: And you wonder why we keep conquering your planets. I bet your species doesn’t even let its young do major construction unsupervised.

okayneat asked jethromakwaa:

Damn. I never anticipated shipping Dave<3Equius so I’m kind of flabbergastedly delighted that that is EXACTLY what I am doing now — at least, if troll!Dave counts. Thank you for Troll Romcom. It is wonderful.

JM: Well aren’t you just the cutest thing? I’d give you an affectionate noogie, but I’d probably break your neck.

Anonymous asked: I just wanted to let you know that highblood!Dave makes me happy in ways I...

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 22:02:00 -0500

Anonymous asked: I just wanted to let you know that highblood!Dave makes me happy in ways I didn’t even know were possible. Like, even more than awkward British, “You’re crippled. Want some tea?” on Downton Abbey. It’s awesome. You’re awesome. Troll RomCom is awesome. Wow, I’m sappy - let’s anon.

JM: See, the thing is, I happen to have a particular fondness for crazy indigos.

SK: ssh! don’t wake up the pouncebeast, i’m collecting naptons!

JM: I may regret asking this, but… why is the pouncebeast green?

SK: i did that experiment PERIGEES ago, jethro! pay attention!

All right, you glorious sonsabitches, I am liquored up and ready...

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 23:23:00 -0500

All right, you glorious sonsabitches, I am liquored up and ready to dodge your questions.